There is song my Sara Groves that I love called Painting Pictures of Egypt". It goes like this...
"I've been painting pictures of Egypt; leaving out what it lacked. The future feels so hard, and I wanna go back. But the places that used to fit me, cannot hold the things I've learned, & those roads were closed off to me, while my back was turned"
In the Exodus story, The Isrealites are brought out of slavery and miraculously delivered out of the hands of their slave masters; the Egyptians. Once they reach the "promise land", Moses sends in some spys to check out the land and see what they will need to do to take the land as their own. All but two of the spys come back and say it will be impossible to overtake the land because the people who inhabit it are huge and fierce. At this point, the Isrealites start complaining and whining (again) about their situation...they even go so far as to say that they'd rather be back in Egypt. (This whining was not new to Moses, who has heard them complaining about their trip the whole time). My question is this... why do we constantly look back to what used to be when we are uncertain about what is to come? We even do this knowing that the past was harsh & unfair. Is it because we have so little faith that our future is secure; that God has plans to make things better? Or is it that the price of our future "promise land" seems to high, and "slavery" looks easier? I know I have been victim of self-inflicted doubt way more times than I care to count. I have let fear and doubt keep me from the best God has for me. I used to live one way, and think another. I was afraid that people who knew me "before" would laugh at me and mock the changes I have made. But God has made me see that I cannot move ahead with His plan for me if I am constantly "checking the rearview mirror". Like the song says..."the places that used to fit, cannot hold the things I've learned". I am a new creation & I am stepping out with boldness to be all I was created to be. It is a high-wire act without a net...but I am going to trust and step out. I dare you to do the same.
